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Topic : jokes

dogcatcher
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08/11/2016 : 16:30:07      reply with quote


this post has been edited 2 time(s)

we had a joke thread a year ago or so but thought id start anew one up as that was a long one.....When a high ranking official in bulgaria was visiting a small town the mayor anxious to impress organised a bear shoot,however due to none being in the neighbouring forest he hit upon a plan and bought a bear from a traveling circus,which was duly release into the forest,the next day of the shoot they came across it but nobody could get a clear shot, and on following it, it disappeared behind a foresters cottage,confident of a clear shot the official waited for the bear to emerge,which after a few minuites it did riding a bicycle 'laugh :D');
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Peter
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08/11/2016 : 17:10:03      reply with quote


Try using the search facility at the top of the forum.

www.silsden.net/forum/philboard_read.asp?id=936

laugh :D laugh :D laugh :D laugh :D: D laugh :D laugh :D

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greengrass
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08/11/2016 : 19:20:19      reply with quote


Peter please do not encourage him lol
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dogcatcher
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08/11/2016 : 19:28:44      reply with quote


quote
posted by Peter
Try using the search facility at the top of the forum.

www.silsden.net/forum/philboard_read.asp?id=936

laugh :D laugh :D laugh :D laugh :D: D laugh :D laugh :D


could of found it just thought its time for a new one as that was last used in april 2015 which is 1 1/2 years ago.
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Peter
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08/11/2016 : 19:38:54      reply with quote


..... but the original joke thread

www.silsden.net/forum/philboard_read.asp?id=936

.... was started in 2008 and has 129 cracking jokes and should not be forgotten - click www.silsden.net/forum/philboard_read.asp?id=936

and ENJOY happy :)
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dogcatcher
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08/11/2016 : 19:39:08      reply with quote


just seen a dyslexic yorkshireman wearing a cat flap'laugh :D');
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dogcatcher
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09/11/2016 : 13:34:52      reply with quote


went fishing this morning and ran out of bait,when i saw an adder snake with a frog in its mouth,frogs are good pike bait so knowing the snake might bite me, i grabbed it on the back of the neck and removed the frog,now the dilemma how do i release it without getting bitten,i got my hip flask out and gave a shot of whisky,its eyes rolled back and went limp so i disposed of it in the grass,fishing on for a few minuites i felt a nudge on my leg it was the dam snake with 2 more frogs 'laugh :D');
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Jaguarxjs22
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09/11/2016 : 13:36:15      reply with quote


Donald Trump has just banned the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again!
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HurricaneHector
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09/11/2016 : 14:53:28      reply with quote


what do you often have to do after a Trump?
a) Sort out a smelly mess.
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BarryT
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23/11/2016 : 18:17:19      reply with quote


At a Pub Quiz In Glasgow
"And the final question for 250 is;
Take That`s first album consisted of 4 words, the first two were, "Take That"
So what are the the second two?
There was a long pause, then a Glaswegian said, was it,
Ya Bastard??
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dogcatcher
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23/11/2016 : 19:50:00      reply with quote


this post has been edited 1 time(s)

2 guys talking in the pub about family values etc and one says i did`nt sleep with my wife before we got married ,did you,his mate replied im not sure what was her maiden name
'laugh :D');
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dogcatcher
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04/12/2016 : 20:36:52      reply with quote


man goes into a chemist and takes out a miniture whisky bottle and teaspoon,he pours some into the spoon and says can u taste this for me,the chemist drinks it and swallows it down,"does that taste sweet to you" he asks,no not at all says the chemist,,oh thats a relief,the doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar 'laugh :D');
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dogcatcher
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02/01/2017 : 13:57:29      reply with quote


murphy a furniture dealer from dublin went to france to get a new line for his store,after selecting a new furniture line he decide to go to a bistro to celebrate,as he sat enjoying his wine he noticed the place was full apart from the seat on his table,and after a short while a lovely parisian girl came in so knowing there was only one seat he jestured for her to sit with him.he then tried to speak to her but could not understand so he drew a picture of a wine glass on his napkin and showed it her ,she nodded so he got her a glass of wine,after a few more minutes he got another napkin and drew a plate of food on it ,showed her it and she nodded so off they went to a restaurant playing romantic music they proceeded to order dinner after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing,she nodded so they got up and danced the night away until the restaurant was closing,so back at the table the lovely young girl got a napkin and drew a fourposter bed on it,to this day murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business 'laugh :D');
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wheelaman123
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02/01/2017 : 18:44:33      reply with quote


If you can finish with a song you could do well at stand up.
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dogcatcher
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10/01/2017 : 21:31:45      reply with quote


a chicken farmer went to a bar and ordered a glass of champagne,a women sat next to him and orders the same,he says what a coincidence,its a special day for me,and its a special one for me too she replies,they clinked glasses and the farmer asked what are u celebrating,she says my husband and i have been trying for a baby for years and today i found i was pregnant,what a coincidence he says,for years my hens were infertile today they are laying fertilized eggs.thats great says the women how did your chickens become fertile,i used a different cock he replied,the women smiled and said what a coincidence!! 'laugh :D');
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HurricaneHector
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11/01/2017 : 09:35:12      reply with quote


A man went into a chemist and asked the lady behind the counter, "Please can I have a deodorant"?
She replied, "Did you want a ball type"?
He says, "Well I was looking for underarm but I suppose that will do."
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BarryT
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17/01/2017 : 18:40:22      reply with quote


Mick asks Murphy:

"Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"

Easy, Murphy replies,

"cos, If they fell forward they'd still be in the fckin' boat!"
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dogcatcher
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22/01/2017 : 16:59:35      reply with quote


this post has been edited 1 time(s)

a man and women meet at a bar and decide to go back to her place for a drink,after a few drinks he takes off his shirt then washes his hands,then a while later he takes off his trousers then washes his hands again,the girl says you must be a dentist,surprised he says yes how did u figure that out,,easy she replied u keep washing your hands,as one thing led to another they get intimate,after she says you must be a good dentist,the guy now ego boosted says yes but how did u figure that out ,she replied did`nt feel a thing 'laugh :D');
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dogcatcher
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17/02/2017 : 07:46:27      reply with quote


in the usa they have just crossed a bulldog with a shitzu,i wonder what they are going to call it 'laugh :D');
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Traveller
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17/02/2017 : 09:57:11      reply with quote


Trump.
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dogcatcher
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01/03/2017 : 08:06:57      reply with quote


two kids in hospital 1st one says what u in for,getting my tonsils out the other replies,oh you get put to sleep and when you wake up u get lots of jelly etc,so the 2nd kid replies what you in here for then,he says circumcision,he replied i had that done at birth could`nt walk for a year. 'laugh :D');
solid wood flooring

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